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In this blog, I provide training and instruction, as well as warnings on the topics of finding a marriage partner, Christian dating, courtship, cohabitation before marriage, contraception, sex, and divorce. 

As the Scripture says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.” (1 Thes 4:3-8, NIV)

“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Heb 13:4)

Finding a Marriage Partner	Why Not Live Together Rather Than Marry	A Warning for Christian Married Couples
Recognizing Jesus	Is Contraception a Sin?	When Marriage Doesn't Work Out
Divorcing the Devil	The Father's Role in the Marriage of His Children	Christian Typology of Jewish Wedding Customs
Jacob Was 77 Years Old When He Married

Attribution notice: Most Scripture quotations taken from the NASB. Other Scriptures taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®, where noted.

Author's Note: You may also access my complete blog directory at Writing for the Master.

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus.  Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15).  He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

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Len Lacroix is the founder of Doulos Missions International.  He was based in Eastern Europe for four years, making disciples, as well as helping leaders to be more effective at making disciples who multiply, developing leaders who multiply, with the ultimate goal of planting churches that multiply. His ministry is now based in the United States with the same goal of helping fulfill the Great Commission. www.dmiworld.org.

The Role of Fathers in the Marriage of Their Children

In the Church today, we have adopted many of the world’s ways and forsaken many of God’s ways. So when it comes to marriage, where nearly half of them end in divorce (even in the Church), is it possible that the Church is not approaching marriage according to the ways of God?  If that is the case, then we should find out what God’s ways really are in this matter. In order to find the answers, we need to look at how people entered into marriage in the Bible, and the role of one’s father in the selection of their marriage partner. This doctrine is found in the book of Beginnings, where all doctrine begins, in the book of Genesis.

God the Father gave his son Adam His wife Eve to be his wife (Ge 2:20-22).

Abraham got a wife for his son Isaac by sending his servant to go to his relatives and get a wife for his son there (Ge 24:2-4,7).

Abraham's servant asked Rebecca's father and brother to give her in marriage to Abraham's son Isaac, and it was her father Bethuel and brother Laban who agreed to give her in marriage to Isaac (Ge 24:50-52).

Isaac commanded Jacob not to take a wife from the Canaanites, which represent the world and the non-believers, and told him to go to his grandfather's house to the home of Bethuel and take a wife from his relatives there (Ge 28:1-2).

Isaac gave Jacob his blessing for marriage (Ge 28;3-4).

Isaac sent Jacob back to the home of Laban, but he did not pre-arrange the marriage (Ge 28:5).

When Esau learned that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him to the home of Laban to take a wife, and when he realized that the Canaanite wives he had taken were displeasing to his parents, then he married a daughter of Ishmael (Ge 28:6-9).

When Jacob was 70 years old, he obeyed his father, Isaac, and went to the place he was told to go to take a wife for himself, which was Paddan Aram.

When Jacob obeyed his father, God gave him a confirmation in the form of a dream to show him that he was on the right track.

Jacob asked Laban for his daughter Rachel in marriage, which was his personal preference (not his father’s), and Laban agreed to give his daughter to him in marriage (Ge 29:18-19).

When the time came, Jacob asked Laban to give him his daughter Rachel in marriage (Ge 29:21).

Laban gave his older daughter Leah in marriage to Jacob (Ge 29:23).

Seven days later, Laban gave his younger daughter Rachel to Jacob to be his wife (Ge 29:28).

Hamor the father of Shechem went to Jacob, at the request of his son, to ask for his daughter Dinah to be his son Hamor's wife. This shows that even the non-believers (in this case a rapist) understood the importance of the father’s role in marriage (Ge 34:5-6,8-9).

Shechem himself also asked Jacob and his sons for Dinah to be his wife (Ge 34:11-12).

Judah got a wife for his first born son Er (Ge 38:6).

Judah also commanded his son Onan to lay with Er’s widow, and this is where the doctrine comes from that a brother must marry his brother’s widow in order to produce children (Ge 38:8).

When both of Judah’s sons had died, he ordered his daughter-in-law to go live with her father until his son Shelah was old enough to marry her. He still had authority over her even as a widow to direct her where she should live in order to be taken care of.

There is no Scriptural basis for a virgin to move out of her father’s household without his authorization or approval. The only time in Scripture that a virgin is ever allowed to move out of her father’s house is when her father gives her away in marriage to a man. That is the way it is in the Bible, although we understand that most people don’t do it that way today, and this is not intended to condemn anyone. I'm simply stating what is in God's Word, which is our sole rule of faith. 

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor 11:3)

We must be subject to the governing authorities, and a father is one of those authorities that is instituted by God (Rom 13:1; Heb 13:17). This authority doesn’t cease when a virgin daughter moves away from her father to live on her own without his approval, which has no biblical basis anyway. It still has some bearing. For example, if the father is a godly Christian man, then his counsel and approval should be sought out regarding a marriage partner, and marriage should not be entered into lightly without it. 

The Bible says, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." (Pro 15:22). Parents are among the many, God-given advisers you need to consult with about important life decisions, and marriage is perhaps the most important life decision you could make. It would be foolish to make plans to marry anyone without the counsel, advice and approval of your parents, especially your father. That would be quite foolish to do so, and it is also completely unbiblical.

Marriage involves spiritual warfare, which should be obvious when you consider that nearly half (42%) of all marriages end in divorce (in America), even among Christians. Scripture says, "Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers." (Pro 24:6). Be sure and obtain guidance from many advisers, including your parents, before making any decision to marry someone.

It is a father's God-given role to decide whether or not to give away his daughter in marriage to a suitor, which is why he should be directly involved in the decision. In keeping with this biblical principle, King Saul offered to give his daughter Merab in marriage to David (1 Sam 18:17). Later he also offered his daughter Michael to David to be his wife (1 Sam 18:21). Likewise, the Jewish men during the days of Nehemiah promised not to give their daughters away in marriage to the peoples around them or to take the daughters of those peoples for their sons (Neh 10:30).

Consulting your parents, especially your father, and involving them in your marital decision is both wise and biblical, and it also honors them. Although Jesus was never married, He honored his earthly parents and was obedient to them. (Lk 2:51)

Jesus honored his heavenly Father (Jn 8:49) and obeyed Him in everything (Jn 6:38; 8:29; 14:31; Lk 22:42). So too, should children honor their parents and obey them, unless it is something that contradicts the Word of God, such as their parent telling them to do something God’s Word forbids, or forbidding them to do something that God has commanded us to do. (Eph 6:1-3; Ex 20:12).

If you are blessed with a godly father, you would do well to listen to his instruction, pay attention, gain understanding, lay hold of his words with all your heart, and not forsake his teaching, as the Scripture says you should do (Prov 4:1-4).

A Sacred Principle Embedded in Culture

The whole principle of a father being directly involved in the marriage of his children is embedded in culture. We see this all over the world in various cultures that still hold to certain marriage traditions that go back hundreds, if not thousands of years. One of them is the suitor paying a dowry to the father of the bride, which is still practiced in many African and Asian cultures. Another tradition is the one in which the father walks his daughter down the aisle at the wedding. The minister asks who will be giving the bride away, and the father answers, "I do." He then gives her hand to the bridegroom as a physical act demonstrating that he is hereby giving his daughter's hand away to the man in marriage. 

Of course, in Jewish weddings traditionally, the father of the bride escorts her down the aisle, walking on her left side while her mother walks on her right. And even the groom is escorted down the aisle by his parents in the same fashion. This ancient Hebrew tradition probably dates back thousands of years, since it is based on a biblical principle that began in the time period written about in the book of Genesis.

However, we do know for sure that the Christian tradition dates back at least nearly five hundred years to the sixteenth century. A quick Google search returned this result: "The tradition of the father of the bride walking his daughter down the aisle to 'give her away' can be traced back to the Church of England's Book of Common Prayer in 1549. The text asks, 'who giveth this woman to be married to this man?' and the minister then 'receives the woman at her father or friend's hands'. The tradition likely originated from the [biblical] idea that a woman was her father's property and he was giving her away in exchange for a dowry on her wedding day. Once married, she would become the property of her husband."

In fact, this God-honoring practice is so important, that there have even been fathers who were paralyzed, who still walked their daughters down the aisle using walkers or wheelchairs, and even terminally ill fathers who walked their daughters down the aisle as they lay in a hospital gurney, being wheeled down the aisle beside their daughters. Let that really sink in. This is very touching to me, and expresses beyond words the point I am trying to convey.

Evidence from Biblical Words

There are a couple of Greek words found in the New Testament that provide further evidence of this biblical concept of a father giving his daughter away in marriage.

The first one is the Greek word "ekgamizō" (ek-gam-id'-zo), meaning "to marry off a daughter: - give in marriage." (Strongs). The root word is "gamizō," meaning "to give in marriage, permit to marry." This proves that in order for a daughter to be married, she must first be given in marriage by her father, who has the God-give authority to grant permission or not. These words are used in Mat 22:30, 24:38; Luke 17:27; and 1 Cor 7:38. There is another Greek word, "ekgamiskō" (ek-gam-is'-ko) found in Scripture that means the same thing as "ekgamizō." The existence and use of both of these words further proves that this is a biblical, God-ordained practice.

Conclusion

Some may say that the examples given in this study are all arranged marriages, but that is not true. The spouses in these biblical accounts of marriage were not all pre-selected by the parents without any input or preference by the children. This study does not lead us to the conclusion that we must advocate arranged marriages, or that they are the only way to get married. Arranged marriages may work in some cultures and for some people, but that is not the only way to do it. In fact, they can be disastrous, especially if God is not consulted and the one getting married has no say in the matter, whereby they can express their own preference. 

However, from this study in God’s Word, we learn that the father clearly has an authoritative role in the marriage of his children, and he is never bypassed or ignored in that decision, but rather he is directly involved. The father is always the one to give his daughter in marriage, and she does not make this decision on her own, nor does the son make a marriage decision on his own, but with his father's approval. The father is also the one with the authority to give his blessing or not to his child’s marriage. All doctrine begins in the book of Genesis, so from these examples, we need to understand that this is the will of God, the ways of God, and the Word of God for us to live by. 

Attributions: Scriptures taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®, copyright Zondervan, used by permission. Images subject to copyright. First image of father walking bride down the aisle is copyright Anna Grinets Photography, all rights reserved. Images used per Fair Use Act for educational and commentary purposes only. 

Author's Note: If you enjoyed this post, you may also like Finding a Marriage Partner, Jacob Was 77 Years Old When He Married, and the other posts on the Home page. You may also access my complete blog directory at "Writing for the Master."

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus.  Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15).  He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

Finding a Marriage Partner

Unless you have chosen to remain single for the rest of your life or God has called you to celibacy, then at some point you will feel the need to find a marriage partner. However, for the disciple of Christ, we have very few good models for how to do so. Instead we have plenty of bad, worldly examples all around us.  Therefore, I would like to give some Scriptural guidelines to follow.

Worldly Patterns to Avoid
In the world, we all see the patterns that are followed, and these are familiar to most of us. But I will take just a moment to mention them.

Dating is the most common one. We all know this involves two people going out together on “dates” or set times when they do things together. It may involve a single date or a series of dates on an ongoing basis, known as “going steady.” I don’t need to go into detail about all the aspects of dating that give opportunities for compromise, such as spending time alone together in private, kissing, and other intimate contact. It all eventually leads to impurity, passion, lust, sensuality, and sexual immorality, which are all sinful in God’s sight.

Yet even Christians consider dating to be an acceptable practice. They think it is necessary to date someone as a means of getting to know that person before you decide whether to marry them. However, dating has no Scriptural basis at all, and it leads to sin. It is similar to trying out a used car, taking it for a test drive before you decide to buy it. Or another analogy would be going to the ice cream parlor and taking a few licks from each flavor, giving each one back to the waiter after licking it and asking to try another one until you find the flavor you would like to order. A person is not a used car or an ice cream cone, but a human being made in God’s image. They are not supposed to be test driven or licked before you make a commitment to them.

Since dating often does not result in marriage between the couple, it produces many victims who have been tried out and discarded – even multiple times. So the selection for others to choose from includes other people that have been test driven and licked but left unwanted and single. This is heart breaking to the victims and to the Lord who made them. It was never His intention for people to find a spouse this way.

As I wrote in my article, Visitation of Jesus to Samuel Oghenetega, the Lord appeared to this teenage boy and gave him a warning to those keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. The Lord said, "Tell those keeping boyfriends and girlfriends to repent or else I shall cast them into the burning furnace of hell. Millions of them are in hell. Satan is coming with angels to deceive humanity. Therefore, humanity is doomed. As for my sheep, I will be with them. And I will not leave them."

I will briefly mention living together, which is just a byproduct or result of dating and then going steady. The same reasons used for dating are the ones people use for living together. They believe they love each other enough to move in together and they feel they might spend the rest of their lives together. But somehow they are not ready to make an official, lifelong commitment to stay with each other, to the exclusion of all others, until death parts them. Obviously, all the same aspects of dating that give rise to sin are also true of living together, but much more so, since there is no longer any restraint or attempt to wait until marriage before lying together. And all the same reasons why dating damages people are also true of living together, except much more so. Since many unmarried couples that live together end up breaking up, they experience similar wreckage in their lives as a result. Moreover, when they have had children together, there are more than two victims. For more on this topic, please see my article, Why Not Live Together Rather Than Marry.

One last thing I will mention is mixed spiritual beliefs among couples. In the world, it is common for couples to have different spiritual beliefs and even for one to be a Christian while the other is an unbeliever. This also has no Scriptural basis either, but is simply a worldly pattern that results in spiritual adultery or mixture.

Scriptural Basis
Here are just a few Scriptural admonitions for those who are single, which we must pay careful attention to.

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1Co 6:9-11)

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, ‘The two shall become one flesh.’ But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” (1Co 6:15-20)

“Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.” (1Co 7:1-2).

“Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, ‘I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE. "Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE,’ says the Lord. ‘AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me,’ Says the Lord Almighty.” (2Co 6:14-18)

“…the knowledge of the truth which is according to godliness.” (Tit 1:1)

“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.” (Tit 2:6, NIV).
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.” (Tit 2:11-14)

“For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures…” (Tit 3:3a)

“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1Th 5:22)

“But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’" (1Pe 1:15-16)

“Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.” (1Pe 2:11-12)

“For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries.” (1Pe 4:3)

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.” (1 Thes 4:3-8, NIV)

“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Heb 13:4)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Eph 6:1-3)

"I did not want to do anything without your consent..." (Philemon 14a)

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you.” (Heb 13:17)

The lessons are clear. Fornication and all forms of sexual immorality are sinful and those who do these things will not inherit the kingdom of God. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Flee from immorality. Christians must only marry believers, not unbelievers. The knowledge of the truth leads to godliness. Be sanctified. Learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans. God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Abstain from all appearances of evil. Honor marriage. Honor and obey your parents. Obey your leaders and submit to them.

Godly Patterns to Follow
Since we know we must not conform to these worldly patterns, and they are mostly all we have for examples around us, what is a single person to do, who desires to be married? We must be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

Paul said, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Rom 12:2)

Begin as Paul said in the verse before this by offering your body as a living sacrifice to God, which is your acceptable act of worship. And seek to please the Lord in all you do, including the way you go about finding a spouse.

There are plenty of biblical examples you can study, including the way that Abraham found a wife for Isaac (Gen 24), the way Jacob married (Gen 29; although not the part about getting two wives), and the way that Boaz and Ruth married (Ruth 3-4). We can learn many lessons from these stories, such as purity before marriage, searching among the same spiritual family (believers), honoring the parents, honoring one another, love, and commitment. However, there is no fully developed, Christian method of finding a wife outlined in Scripture. Therefore, please allow me to try and provide some sort of guideline for those who would like that.

In my opinion, godly courtship is the most biblical approach. There are probably many definitions of what that means, so I will try and explain my own personal viewpoint.

Prayer
The first thing any single man or woman should do in his or her search for a spouse is to pray. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Php 4:6). We are supposed to pray about everything, and finding a marriage partner is no exception. I do believe it is the man’s role to find a wife, and not the woman’s role to find a husband. Scripture says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” (Prov 18:22, KJV). But that does not mean the woman cannot do her part to pray for a husband. I would even recommend praying with fasting as well.

Be honest with the Lord. If you feel like you desperately need to be married, cry out to Him about your need. Bring your petition before Him. Those who have lived an immoral life in the past may especially acutely feel this need. But be sure that you receive deliverance, healing, and restoration, and learn to make the Lord first in your life before you assume that marriage is going to solve your problem. What you need is love, not sex, and learning to love begins with loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. You also need to learn to love your neighbor as yourself. If you have used people in the past, abused, or exploited them, then those patterns need to be broken as you learn to love others as Jesus does. I recommend Covenant Prayer, and Demonology 101.

While most men may marry to fulfill their need for sex, perhaps most women marry to fulfill their need for companionship and the security of being truly loved by a man. But if you are a woman, you should first learn to receive the love of Jesus Christ for you and the love of the Father in heaven, so that He can fill the void within you. You must be healed of any insecurity, so that you can truly receive His love and give love back to Him and others. Then your reason for getting married will not be a selfish one to fill a void, but a loving one to give of yourself and submit yourself freely without fear. 

The Leading of the Spirit
As you pray, you should be part of a local church, where you can interact with others in Christ and observe their behavior. Watch how they interact with you and with others. Serve the Lord along side them publicly and worship with them publicly. As you continue like this, over time the Lord may draw you to a particular person, and that is something you should pay attention to. As He does so, you should take your attraction for that person to the Lord to Him in prayer. Do not tell the other person about this, but just pray and tell the Lord. Father knows. As you talk to Him about it privately, He will move on your behalf and show you if it is His will for you to marry this person. You see, we begin with seeking to know what is the Father’s will in this matter, not rushing to do our own will.

The best way to know God’s will is to put your will on the altar. Put the other person on the altar, too. Like a car that is in the neutral gear, set your heart into a neutral position before God, so that you can clearly hear from Him about this person. Don’t assume the one you are attracted to is His will for your life, although that may be the case. You need to determine and prove that in prayer.

As I mentioned in my article, Keeping a Prayer Journal, you need to maintain a journal that contains things the Lord has spoken to you in prayer, as well as things you have spoken to Him, Scriptures He has given to you for your life, and promises you are claiming. As you sense the Lord’s leading regarding this person you are praying about, write those things down in your journal. Then you can look back on them later and see if it was really the Lord.

Not everything that seems like the Lord’s leading is really His leading. That is why you need to get confirmations from the Lord. These can come in the form of Scriptures, hearing the Lord’s voice within your heart or even audibly, divine coincidences, prophecies, and words of knowledge, as well as dreams and visions from the Lord. I caution you to beware of people prophesying that you must marry a certain person. While the Lord can and certainly does use prophecies, it should be a confirmation of what you already know to be true in your own heart, and not something that is forced on you as a mandate or as something foreign that you were completely unaware of. As you receive these confirmations, write them down in your journal. This is all part of being led by the Spirit. “For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (Rom 8:14).

Also see Led by the Spirit - Part I and Led by the Spirit - Part II.

One Man for One Woman
It is my personal belief that the Lord has one specific companion for each person that is supposed to be married. In other words, if it is His will for you to be married, I believe there is only one person in the world that God has for you to marry, and that is the only person you may marry in the will of God. I don’t believe the Lord just leaves that up to chance or happenstance, but He has determined these things before we were even born out of love for us. In some cases where a person’s spouse dies, I believe the Lord in His loving care for that person may also have a second spouse for them to marry when that need arises.

Therefore I believe it is critical to pray earnestly to know His will about the person you should marry, and then obey the Lord. I believe it is important to be led by the Spirit in all things, so that you are in the right place at the right time. If you are not where the Lord wants you to be when He wants you there, you may not find the spouse He has for you. If you marry outside of God’s will, you will suffer the consequences, which could include misery, heartbreak, divorce, and hindrances to the fulfillment of your calling and God’s purpose for you in life.  It could even result in eternal souls being lost, such as those you were intended to reach, or possibly your very own soul, if it leads you into sin and you do not repent. That’s why I lay so much emphasis on prayer and fasting, as well as being led by the Spirit, receiving divine direction and confirmations of His will.

One brother I know told me once that every couple he knows who said they felt the Lord directed them to marry each other ended up unhappy in their marriage or divorced (to the best of my memory, that is what he said). Consequently he did not believe in there being only one person for each of us to marry in the will of God. I suppose he assumed that if the Lord had really meant for those couples to be married together, they would have been happy, fulfilled, and would not have broken up. However, I disagree with that, so please let me explain why.

I believe that for those who are supposed to be married, the person God has chosen for you to marry is exactly what you need to help you fulfill your calling, do the will of God, carry out His purpose for you in life, and ultimately make it to heaven in Christ. However, that does not mean you will enjoy every moment of it. The Lord puts people in our lives to work on areas in us that need to be changed into the image of Christ and perfected. The proverb says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov 27:17, NIV). Those who have had difficult roommates in college can testify to this principle, and marriage is no exception to it. The Lord puts you together with a marriage partner, who will be perfectly suited to work on your character flaws and get you ready for heaven. That is not always a pleasant process, but one that can often be painful.

Therefore, if couples do marry the one the Lord led them to marry in His will, and experience unhappiness together or conflicts, they may incorrectly assume they have missed God’s will and married the wrong person. They may assume the other person is the problem, and they need to get away from that person, when in fact the problem may reside inside of them and God may actually be trying to use their spouse to root it out.  That’s why I don’t think my friend has a valid reason for believing that there is more than one person you can marry in the will of God.

Age Range
I want to say a word about what age a person should be before they marry. This may vary for each person and within different cultures. There have been people who have married very young, even at fifteen or sixteen years old. However, this is not ideal. In today’s world, your education will be an important part of being able to get a proper job to earn a living to support your family. Getting married too young can interrupt your education, and that could hurt you in the long term. It is often much more difficult to finish your education if you are married, especially if you have children, so don’t rush into getting married too young. As the proverb says, “Prepare your work outside and make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house.”(Pro 24:27)

Also keep in mind that the person you know at age eighteen or nineteen is still changing. Their mind is still growing, they are still maturing, their viewpoints are still changing, and the person you know at that age is not the same person they may become by the time they are twenty one. If you marry someone who is not yet mature and is still changing, you may end up with someone later that is not quite the same person you once loved so much when they were younger. And their feelings about you could also change as well, as their mind changes. So take it slowly and realize this before you marry someone.

Pre-Courtship
Once you men have received definite leading from the Holy Spirit about the woman you feel you should marry, you may decide to speak with your parents, if they are godly disciples of Christ, who are filled with the Spirit. Otherwise, you should go to the elders of your church or your pastor who have spiritual oversight over you, and share your heart confidentially. But even if you speak to your godly, Spirit-filled parents, you should still speak to those with spiritual oversight over you in your church. Tell them about the confirmations you have received and see what they say. If they agree the Lord is leading you, then you may proceed to the next step, which is to speak to the woman about what you believe the Lord is saying and ask her to pray about it.

She needs to receive the Lord’s leading and guidance just as much as you do. So give her time to get her confirmations from the Lord. Don’t be impatient and rush her. In fact, it is best not to discuss it with her further while she prays about it. Don’t spend time together as a couple, because that could influence what she senses and you really want her to hear from God, not you. This will be an added confirmation for you later, which will help to ensure you have not mistakenly missed God. She may need some weeks or even a few months to get the mind of the Lord on this matter.

If you are a sister in this situation, then take your time and pray with fasting, seeking the Lord to know His will. As I mentioned, keep track of what you sense is the Lord’s leading in a journal. Let the Scriptures be your main guide, but also pay attention to the other types of confirmations I previously mentioned. Once you receive what you believe to be the Lord’s leading, then you should share that with your parents, if they are godly, Spirit-filled people, and then with the elders of her church or your pastor. If they agree the Lord is leading you, then they should release you and the man who desires to court you to get parental consent.

This obviously would not apply to people who are above a certain age, such as in the fifties age range or older, but exactly what age is the cut off point when parental consent does not apply is a subjective matter that is not explicitly defined in Scripture. Therefore you should use wisdom and good judgment in conjunction with your overseers as to when it applies. Don’t underestimate the value of honoring your parents and receiving their permission, as well as their blessing. Some churches may have strict rules that apply to getting this permission in writing, but the main thing is that you obtain their official consent, and if they don’t put it in writing, then you should do so and keep that in your journal.

I suggest that as part of this process, the father of the woman, who desires to enter into courtship, will want to meet with the man who desires to court her, and get to know him. If the father is a godly, Spirit-filled man, he will want to check him out and make sure he is a godly person as well. Such a father will most likely want to pray about the matter himself, but ultimately his decision should be based on what the couple has sensed the Lord leading them to do under the Holy Spirit’s guidance. If a man came to me, asking for permission to court one of my daughters, I would first want to know how he came to know the Lord and how the Spirit led him to believe he should court her. I would also ensure that he is submitted to spiritual authority as one who is accountable, correctable, and teachable. Moreover, I would not grant permission until I had ensured that the Lord was leading my daughter this way as well. If the parents are not godly, Spirit-filled believers, this process may not go smoothly, so be prepared for that possibility. There could be many possible variations of how this could proceed, and I will not seek to go into detail on all of them. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and use wisdom.

While awaiting parental consent, the couple is still not spending time together, but waiting on the Lord and praying individually. Once the parents grant permission, then the couple may share that with those who are in spiritual oversight over them. Some churches may have a marriage committee for this purpose or they may require this permission in writing. In any event, regardless of the specific requirements that each church may have, the main point is that the church overseer or overseers release the couple to begin courtship.

Courtship
Once the couple has been released to begin courting, they may do so. They should stand before their congregation at church and make the announcement that they are commencing courtship under godly oversight. This provides further accountability for them as a safeguard and it also gives the church the chance to rejoice with the couple and pray for them. The church should gather around them and pray for them and also commit them to prayer during the courtship.

This is not the same as dating, as I have already said earlier. This is a godly relationship that is based on love, purity, righteousness, and holiness. It must all be done in the light, not in darkness. Don’t give the devil any opportunity. I suggest that the setting for your times together should be either in public places or in the homes of Christian couples from your church. Avoid any situations that could lead to compromise. Remain accountable to others, such as your church oversight, whether the elders or pastor. If you are still living with your parents, and they are godly believers, then remain accountable to them, too.

The goal in courtship is to spend time together, praying together, worshiping together, studying the Word together, confirming God’s will, getting to know each other better, learning to work through conflict together, and preparing for marriage, before making a final, lifelong commitment to each other. During this time, I recommend premarital counseling under the guidance of a more mature, married couple in your church. You should discuss some of the key aspects of successful, godly marriage, such as the Word of God, the Lordship of Christ, the ministry of the Holy Spirit in your lives, love, submission, prayer, service, contentment, conflict resolution, birth control, forgiveness, and humility. The Word of God has plenty to say about these topics, so I recommend doing a Bible study together on these and others relevant to marriage. There are also plenty of good books available on the topic, and under the guidance of another married couple, the courting couple may go through a workbook together, discussing and answering questions about these things. This is the time to learn those keys you will need to ensure that your marriage is successful and lasts a lifetime.

Someone may ask whether engagement is a part of courtship. I think that it makes sense, because at some point in the courtship, the couple will want to make it official that they are engaged. For some couples that may be very soon, or they may consider the fact that they are courting to be official evidence enough of their intentions to marry. But for others, they may see the courtship as more of a proving period and wait until they have a greater assurance before they announce that they are actually engaged to be married. So this is somewhat optional, as I don’t see a Scriptural requirement for it, and God probably already views them as betrothed. On the one hand, I believe the couple would have already known before they started courting that it was God’s will for them to be married, and they should not have begun courting if they did not believe so. On the other hand, that could be viewed as a potential outcome that needed to be confirmed before the couple could officially and publicly announce their plans for marriage.

If a couple chooses to make engagement a formal step in the process, then it should begin with the man going to the woman’s father and asking for her hand in marriage. (In some cultures, such as in Africa, a dowry may be required, which the suitor must pay to the woman’s father). Once the father’s permission to marry his daughter has been granted, then the couple may go back to their overseers with that information, so they may proceed to the next step of making the announcement in church. As with the public announcement of their courtship, this is another opportunity for the church to rejoice with them, gather around and pray for them, and commit them to ongoing prayer. It is also an opportunity for the church and family to have an official celebration of the couple’s engagement. This is something very special they would probably not want to miss.

Once the courtship has proceeded well along this track and the necessary lessons have been learned, the couple may eventually proceed to planning their wedding. This is an exciting time as they set a firm date, and plan for the big day when they will seal the relationship with their pledge of love exclusively to each other, one man and one woman together for life.

I do not encourage couples to go through a long, extended courtship that lasts for years. It should not take years for this process. If too much time elapses, this can allow for the tempter to tempt them, so they must guard against this. Temptation can come in various forms, not only sexual. It can also come in the form of temptation to break up. So be careful.

I also do not advise couples that are courting or engaged to indulge in kissing, prolonged hugging, full body contact, lying down next to each other, sleeping in the same room, or talking about their sexual desires. If they get to the point in their courtship where they both feel their need for intimacy with each other cannot be postponed any longer, then after praying and seeking counsel, they may choose to move their wedding date sooner. As Paul wrote, “If they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Cor 7:9, NIV)

Incidentally, courtship and engagement for marriage may be broken off, but that should not be taken lightly, and the couple would certainly not want to go through this whole process more than once.  Moreover, in the Scriptures, betrothal could not be dissolved without a divorce (Mat 1:19). So while modern courtship and engagement may not legally require a divorce to break off, it is still a serious matter in the sight of God. There would need to be a valid reason for it, such as the uncovering of new information that would disqualify the couple from being married. For example, if one partner reveals that he or she is an unrepentant, practicing homosexual, transvestite, married to someone else, or not a sincere Christian, these would invalidate the engagement. Other possible reasons why a couple may wish to break off their premarital relationship may not be as clear as these examples, and may first need to be validated. 

Therefore, if they do break up, they should walk through that process prayerfully with fasting, under the careful and loving oversight of mature believers, such as a Christian couple from their church and those in oversight of their church. The couple would need to receive confirmations from the Lord that it is not God’s will for them to marry, because they would have previously already confirmed independently and under accountability to oversight that it was in fact God’s will for them to marry.

It should not be broken off simply because of unwarranted opposition that has arisen from parents who initially gave their consent, nay-Sayers, doubts, fears, unproven suspicions or accusations, second thoughts, speculations, a quarrel, annoyances, a loss of loving feelings or a lack thereof, or some other such circumstance. Essentially this process would need to be done carefully in the same manner as the pre-courtship was done, except in reverse, so that the enemy does not outwit the couple. But if it turns out after a period of courtship that the couple decides this is not God’s will to marry, then ending the courtship would be the right thing to do.

I hope this guidance has been helpful to those who are looking for assistance with how to go about finding a marriage partner in a godly, Christian way.

Attribution notice: Most Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.  Other Scriptures taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®, where noted. Image of Biblical Courtship courtesy of Like Success. No copyright infringement or endorsement of site intended. Fair Use Act invoked for educational and commentary purposes only.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like Keeping a Prayer Journal, Led by the Spirit - Part I, Led by the Spirit - Part II, Walking in the Perfect Will of God, Why Not Live Together Rather Than Marry, The Forgotten Sin of Worldliness,  Avoid Becoming a Corrupted Christian, Sins That Will Keep You From Heaven, Visitation of Jesus to Samuel Oghenetega, Ezekiel Moses Testimony of Heaven and Hell, Is Obedience Optional?, Holy Living in a Perverted World, Covenant Prayer, Accountable, correctable, and teachable, Is Contraception a Sin? -- a Divine Revelation, A Warning for Married Christian Couples, Restored Truth, Testing the Spirits of False Prophets, A Warning to the Nay Sayers, The Ways of Life, and the other posts on the home page. You may also access my complete blog directory at "Writing for the Master."

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus.  Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15).  He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

Recognizing Jesus

At church today, a brother named Nagy Dani (pronounced "Donny") preached an excellent message from Luke 24 about the time when two of Jesus' disciples were walking along the road to Emmaus . This was immediately following Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection. They were sad, because they did not understand what had happened. As Jesus walked up to them and began traveling with them, He said to them, "What are these words that you are exchanging with one another as you are walking?" And they stood still, looking sad. (Luk 24:17)

Dani, who is also a medical surgeon, said, “Jesus is asking us today, ‘What are you talking about among yourselves?’” The Lord asks us what we are talking and arguing about in the car on the way to church or at home. “What is in your heart – encouragement or tearing others down?” Encourage each other!

Do you have something that will nourish others or something moldy that will make them sick? We would never serve moldy bread. You can feed others or poison them. Are you giving blessings or cursing?

I wondered to myself as he was speaking: How is it the disciples could not recognize Jesus? Did Jesus change His appearance, or did He change their ability to recognize Him? What change – them or Him?

Then I read in the Scripture passage, “But their eyes were prevented from recognizing Him.” (Luk 24:16). It was their ability to recognize Him that was changed. Later, He enabled them to recognize Him. It says, “Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him; and He vanished from their sight.” (Luk 24:31). Even when we don’t recognize Him, He is always with us as believers. He said, “And I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Mt 28:20).

Then Dani asked, “When was the last time someone recognized Jesus in you?” Since Jesus has the ability to enable people to recognize Him or not, pray that people will recognize Jesus in you. Pray this for the people in your family, your spouse, your friends, your brothers and sisters in Christ, and the people you have contact with in the world.

Dani spoke about the movie Fireproof, and how the husband was taught by his father to love his wife unconditionally. His father gave him a Love Dare journal to follow for 40 days, where he would practice a different grace on his wife each day. He did it for 20 days, and was about to give up, because he felt it wasn’t making any difference in his wife. She was still acting the same way toward him.

He also indicated a similar disrespect for his mother as he had for his wife. He recalled how she had treated his father and he held that against her. When his mother was worried about him in his dangerous job as a firefighter, he got upset and told her that it is his job to go into fires and save people. He assured her that he would be ok. He told his father to try and get his mother to stop worrying about him. But then at the cross, the father revealed to him that his mother wrote the Love Dare journal! She was the one who had saved their marriage and did the Love Dare on him! It was through her that he eventually came to know Christ.

When the father opened his son’s mind to recognize this about his mother, it melted him. He recognized Jesus in his mother, and he was a changed man. He saw her differently. He was no longer bitter toward her. His respect for her suddenly grew immensely.

His father helped him see that he could not give his wife what he did not have. He needed Jesus in his own heart before he could love his wife the way he really should.

Then he gave his life to Christ and continued with the Love Dare for the remainder of the 40 days. She recognized Jesus in Him. It saved his marriage. His wife came to know Christ also through his love for her.

This was an excellent message and an excellent illustration from the movie Fireproof how a person can recognize Jesus in you as you feed them with blessings rather than cursing, and walk in love toward them despite how you feel. What a great challenge it is and a reminder of what we should be doing.

If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. You can find more info about it at the official Fireproof website. And when you watch it, think about what Dani said. What are you talking about among yourselves? Do you have something that will nourish others or something moldy that will make them sick? Are you giving blessings or cursing? When was the last time someone recognized Jesus in you? Why not fireproof your marriage?

Attribution notice: Most Scripture quotations taken from the NASB. 

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus.  Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15).  He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

_________________________________________________

Len Lacroix is the founder of Doulos Missions International.  He was based in Eastern Europe for four years, making disciples, as well as helping leaders to be more effective at making disciples who multiply, developing leaders who multiply, with the ultimate goal of planting churches that multiply. His ministry is now based in the United States with the same goal of helping fulfill the Great Commission. www.dmiworld.org.

Why Not Live Together Rather Than Marry

In Western culture today, the norms have changed drastically from what they were even 60 years ago. Things that were once completely socially unacceptable are now generally considered normal and acceptable.

There are also more temptations today for people have to have sexual relations outside of marriage. These temptations come through various sources, including the popular styles of clothing that reveal so much more and leave much less to the imagination. Temptations also come through the media in all forms, such as advertising, movies, books, magazines, and TV.

If you are walking down the street, it’s difficult to go for two or three minutes without seeing tempting messages of a sexual nature. And most of us don’t even realize it, because we’ve become so accustomed to it. So since we are constantly bombarded with these sexual messages, and since there is so much sexual promiscuity in our generation today, we find that even among Christian believers there is a tendency among many to follow the direction the world is going and question or even deviate from basic Biblical morals for godly living. That’s why I’d like to address this topic at the most basic level. Let me approach it from the perspective of the questions that may arise the in the mind of young people today.

“Why not have sexual relations with numerous people, so that once I am married I will no longer feel the need to know other people sexually?”

First we go to the Word of God for the answer, and we find that Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Mat 5:27-28). Jesus taught that it’s true the commandment says not to commit adultery and people had already been taught this from childhood for many years. But He told them that it is not just the physical act of sexual intercourse that constitutes adultery, but also the act of lusting for someone in your heart. To lust for someone is to have an intense sexual desire for them or a craving to know them sexually. So adultery begins in the heart before the clothes have ever been removed and before the first touch. This is the way God sees it.

Since that sounds like a pretty common thing, it makes you wonder how God will ultimately deal with people who lust after others in their heart. The apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians about this saying, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1Co 6:9-11). It’s true that all of these things can be forgiven. Some of the Corinthians had been adulterers and fornicators at one time, and had since been washed and cleansed by the blood of Jesus. But Paul wanted them to know that those who live this way will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

As a side note, fornicators are those who commit sexual intercourse outside of marriage. It would be good to understand why this is so serious.

Paul went on to explain why: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” (1Co 6:15-18). Paul taught that when two people join their bodies sexually, their bodies become one together. Something happens that goes beyond what we can see with the eye. In the same way, when we join ourselves to the Lord, we become one with Him. So when a person sins sexually, they sin against their own body. The reason that is so serious is that the body of a Christian believer is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Once you join yourself to the Lord, your body is not your own. It’s His holy dwelling place, a place of worship.

This is why Paul went on to write: “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” (1Co 6:18-20).

You see, when you join yourself to someone sexually, this uniting of your bodies creates a soul tie that was meant to be life long. So when two people who have become one sexually break up and go their separate ways, there is still a soul tie. A part of each person remains in the other person. The more this is repeated, the more shattered and fragmented inside a person becomes. This is not God’s will. It corrupts the body, which is His holy temple.

And it’s important to note that almost half the time, people who have premarital consensual sex together do not end up marrying one another. If they do marry, they are more likely to divorce.

"The chance of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent (compared to 20% for marriages). And after 10 years, 62 percent for premarital cohabitations dissolve (compared to 35% for marriages)." (Source: CDC.gov)

Consider this info from another blog titled “What is Wrong with Living Together and Not Getting Married”:

A study done by Penn State University researchers proves that even though more than half of couples now do it, compared with only 10 percent 30 years ago, living together before marriage still is linked to higher rates of troubled unions, divorce and separation.

There is so much information like this readily available through surveys that have been conducted, but most people are not aware of it. They have been deceived into thinking it is better to try out your mate for a while before marrying, just to make sure this is really the one for you. The statistics prove that it doesn’t work. So from both a Biblical perspective and a practical one, premarital sex and cohabitation are bad ideas. They don't ensure that you will stay together or that you will not have desires for other people once you do get married.

Why not live with another adult in a consensual sexual relationship, rather than marry them, since the commitment that’s really important is the one of the heart and not the legal one we recognize as marriage?

To answer this we really need to examine what constitutes a marriage. Marriage is more than just deciding to spend your lives together. It’s more than moving into the same house together, and it’s more than having sex. Biblical marriage reflects the relationship that Jesus Christ has with the Church. As Paul wrote to the Ephesians: “FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”(Eph 5:31-32). Marriage is based on a solemn covenant between a man and a woman to spend the rest of their lives together. The husband agrees to lay down his life for His wife as Christ did for the Church and to care for her as he cares for his own body. The wife agrees to respect her husband and honor his leadership. A solemn, holy covenant is made in the presence of God and other believers. Jesus said wherever two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in your midst. So when a solemn promise is made in this way, it’s binding.

Most civilized cultures put it in writing that is recognized officially by all of society. And that written document is important, but the marriage itself is not based on the document. If the document is destroyed, it does not terminate the marriage. It’s the covenant that binds the two together. God recognizes the covenant. It’s powerful. And then they are free to enjoy one another sexually, because of that covenant. With the covenant come many responsibilities to love, respect and care for one another. And with the covenant come all the wonderful rights and privileges of marriage to enjoy, including sexual intimacy.

The Sexually Immoral Will Not Inherit the Kingdom of God
Perhaps the most compelling reason not to live together outside of marriage is that the Word of God teaches us that the sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God, as I have already mentioned.

Paul said, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals..." (1Co 6:9)


"Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying." (Rev 22:15)

If you are living in sin this way, then repent for the kingdom of God is near. Unless you repent, you will perish.

Putting it All Together
So the Bible warns us not to have sex outside of marriage for good reasons. It’s for our own good. God wants us to be whole and enjoy His peace, His joy, and His love. This can only happen when we follow his holy ways. That’s why with all the temptations around us to deviate from His ways, we need to flee or run from sexual immorality like the plague. We should not conform to the way the world lives, but live righteously and dare to be different.

When you do this, you’ll find that God will bless you in ways you never dreamed or imagined.

Attribution notice: Most Scripture quotations taken from the NASB. 

Author's Note: I also recommend reading Finding a Marriage Partner, The Forgotten Sin of Worldliness,  Avoid Becoming a Corrupted Christian, Sins That Will Keep You From Heaven, Ezekiel Moses Testimony of Heaven and Hell, Is Obedience Optional?, Holy Living in a Perverted World, Is Contraception a Sin? -- a Divine Revelation, A Warning for Married Christian Couples, Restored Truth, Testing the Spirits of False Prophets, A Warning to the Nay Sayers, The Ways of Life, and the other posts on the home page. You may also access my complete blog directory at "Writing for the Master."

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus.  Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15).  He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

_________________________________________________

Len Lacroix is the founder of Doulos Missions International.  He was based in Eastern Europe for four years, making disciples, as well as helping leaders to be more effective at making disciples who multiply, developing leaders who multiply, with the ultimate goal of planting churches that multiply. His ministry is now based in the United States with the same goal of helping fulfill the Great Commission. www.dmiworld.org.