Dear friends,
The Jewish wedding customs are laden with many types of Christ and the Church, and we find many references to these in the New Testament Bible, as well as throughout the Old Testament. Let's take a look at these customs.
Bride selection by groom’s father
The bridegroom’s father would choose a bride for his son, either on his own or through a servant or messenger at his direction, who would do so with God’s help and guidance (Ge 24:2-4,7, 50-52; 38:6). Or the groom’s father would direct his son where to find a wife, as well as where not to do so (Ge 24:2-4), and allow the son to pick one for himself from that candidate pool that would surely receive his father’s approval (Ge 28:1-2,5).
Asking for the bride’s hand in marriage
The bride’s father would be asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage (Ge 24:50-52; 29:18-19,21; 34: 5-6,8-9,11-12), since it was her father’s decision whether to give his daughter away to him in marriage, and he alone had that authority to do so (Ge 29:23,28; 1 Sam 18:17,21; 1 Cor 7:36-38, NASB; Rom 13:1; Heb 13:17; 1 Tim 3:4; Eph 6:1-3; Ex 20:12).
The father’s blessing
The bridegroom’s father would pronounce his blessing upon his son’s future marriage (Ge 28:3-4).
Agreement by bride’s father & dowry set
If the bride’s father agreed to give his daughter in marriage to the man, he would set the bride price, which the groom’s father was required to pay to the bride’s father—essentially buying her for his son (Ge 34:11-12).
Betrothal ceremony
Once the terms were agreed upon, all parties would come together for the betrothal ceremony.
At this point the bride price would be paid the bridegroom’s father (Ge 24:10,22,53).
The bride and groom would sign a contract or covenant, called a “ketubah,” signifying their agreement to marry.
They would then drink wine as a symbolic sealing of the marriage.
At this point they were betrothed, which basically meant they were married, except that they had not yet consummated the marriage. Only death or a decision on the part of the groom’s father could dissolve the betrothal.
Groom returns to his father and prepares a home
"After they drank the wine and signed the ketubah, the groom would return to his father’s house and would work to build an addition onto it, preparing a home for his bride. He would continue to work, sometimes for over a year, until the day when his father approved the work and gave him permission to go and bring back his bride." -- Catherine Parks.
Bride waits and prepares herself for her groom and remains pure
"When the groom would go home to prepare a house for his bride, the bride would remain in her father’s home to prepare herself. And when she went out in public, they all knew she was spoken for...She was saving herself for her bridegroom, which was part of the betrothal agreement. She had been bought at a great price, and therefore she had to remain pure for her groom." -- Catherine Parks
Purity During Betrothal Period
According to Jewish law, a man and a woman who are not married to each other may not be in a room or other private spaces by themselves.
Virgins wait for the bridegroom
The bridesmaids, who were all virgins, would attend the bride, at the father of the bride’s house, where they with their lamps would await the coming of the groom.
Groom returns for his bride
The bridegroom would go for his bride, who was waiting expectantly at her father’s house, not knowing when her bridegroom would arrive.
Wedding feast
The bridegroom would bring his bride back to his father’s house where they would enjoy a feast lasting up to seven days (Jdg 14:10,18).
Bridesmaids allowed into wedding feast
When the bridegroom came, attended by his friends (groomsmen), for his bride (Jn 3:29), the virgin bridesmaids with their lamps would follow the couple (Ps 45:14), lighting the way with their lamps, and would be allowed into the wedding feast with him and the bride, since they were known to the wedding couple (Ps 45:15).
Consummation of Marriage
The nuptial couple would finally get to be alone together in a secluded place only after the official wedding ceremony (Ge 24:67). The consummation of the marriage would soon follow.
The bride would forsake her parents' house (Ps 45:10) and remain with her husband in his house, while he would leave his parents and be united to his wife (Ge 2:24) in a loving relationship for the rest of their lives.
Typology Explained
Let me say a few closing words to explain the typology of Christ and the Church, which I'm sure you were able to see in these Jewish customs.
The bride selection by the groom’s father symbolizes the way the Heavenly Father has chosen a Bride for His Son, the Bridegroom (Mt 9:15; 25:1-13; Mk 2:19-20; Lk 5:35; Jn 3:29; Is 62:5NIV). The bride price represents the price that Jesus paid for the Bride, which He purchased with His own blood (Ac 20:28). The Father was directly involved in this payment, since gave His only begotten Son to purchase His Church as the Bride of Christ (Jn 3:16; 1 Jn 4:14-16; Gal 4:4-5).
Those of us who have agreed to the terms of following Jesus have entered into betrothal with Him. For He has betrothed us to Himself forever (Hos 2:19-20). We are pledged to Him as His Bride in a covenantal relationship, and when we partake of the Lord's Supper, we are confirming that covenant with Him.
As the Bride of Christ (Eph 5:31-32; Rev 21:2,9,17; Is 62:5NIV), we are to prepare ourselves and keep ourselves purely devoted to the Lord (2 Cor 11:3; Eph 5:25-27; Rev 19:7), as we wait expectantly for His return. We belong to Him and no other. We are not only the Bride, but like the five wise virgin bridesmaids (Mt 25:1), preparing ourselves in advance, we are to buy extra oil by being continually filled with the Spirit (Mt 25:1; Eph 5:18), keeping our lamps burning, as we eagerly await the coming of Jesus the Bridegroom.
He said He would return to his father’s house to prepare a place for His Bride, and promised to come back and take us, so that we may also be where He is (Jn 14:2-3). He will return only at the time of his Father's choosing to go and bring back his bride (Mt 24:36). When Jesus our Bridegroom comes in clouds of glory with all His holy angels, the dead in Christ will rise first, then we who are ready will be caught up together to meet the Lord in the air (1 Thes 4:16-17).
Then we will go into heaven with the Lord, where we will participate in the wedding supper of the Lamb (Mt 25:10; Rev 19:1-9). We will be married to Him at last in a loving relationship, and so we will be with the Lord forever (1 Thes 4:17).
Watch a video of me giving a message on this topic.
Attribution: The foregoing document contains excerpts from an article by Catherine Parks called Watching and Waiting: Jewish Wedding Traditions in the New Testament. Another source is Matthew Henry's Commentary of the Bible.
Author's Note: If you enjoyed this post, you may also like The Role of Fathers in the Marriage of Their Children, and the other posts on the home page. You may also access my complete blog directory at "Writing for the Master."
Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus. Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?
“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15). He preached that we must repent and believe.
Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"
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